Communicating Anger

An angry person's face partly in the darkness.

Before you get angry at someone for not keeping their part of the deal, for making a stupid mistake, or giving unsolicited feedback:

  • Make sure that they really are responsible for what you’re accusing them. (Your assumption could be wrong.)
  • Make sure that their idea isn’t actually better. (You could have missed something crucial.)
  • Make sure that your idea really is better. (They could have unintentionally missed something crucial.)
  • Consider their perspective. (Perhaps the issue is miscommunication.)
  • Consider your own personal feelings towards them. (You might be angry with them for a completely different, unrelated reason.)

And once you do all this, respond from the point of compassion and kindness. Anger only leads to conflict and very rarely to resolutions or improvement.

Push the Envelope