Communicating Anger

An angry person's face partly in the darkness.

Before you get angry at someone for not keeping their part of the deal, for making a stupid mistake, or giving unsolicited feedback:

  • Make sure that they really are responsible for what you’re accusing them. (Your assumption could be wrong.)
  • Make sure that their idea isn’t actually better. (You could have missed something crucial.)
  • Make sure that your idea really is better. (They could have unintentionally missed something crucial.)
  • Consider their perspective. (Perhaps the issue is miscommunication.)
  • Consider your own personal feelings towards them. (You might be angry with them for a completely different, unrelated reason.)

And once you do all this, respond from the point of compassion and kindness. Anger only leads to conflict and very rarely to resolutions or improvement.